Man’s duty in the Family: Leadership 2

A man without clear and strong conviction of what is right and wrong based on God’s word will have difficulty in leadership.

Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go.

Joshua 1:6-7

Essential Qualities of Godly Leadership at Home

  1. Conviction
    • A Man without clear conviction of what is right and wrong will have difficulty in leading.
    • These convictions must be grounded on God’s word.
    • Joshua 1:8, Deuteronomy 17:18-20 – It requires conviction to lead.
    • In order for the man to do his part as the leader of the family, he must devote his time to prayer and study of God’s word. He must be student of God’s word.
    • His belief must the bases on God’s word.
    • It is one thing to be filled with information, it is another to convert the information to strong conviction that will lead to implementation.
  2. Courage
    • It is essential in leadership.
    • Joshua 1:6-7 – God emphasizes the need to be brave in leading His people.
    • If we are not courageous, we won’t be able to confront and face life’s challenges.
    • It will affect our family. The temptation is to let the wife make decisions for the family.
    • The husband should always have the last word. The wife should submit as long as the husband’s decision does not violate God’s word.
    • The husband is the decision-maker.
    • The wife should be brave enough to defy the husband’s decision if it is against God’s word.
    • It the duty of the father/husband to encourage and equip the mother/wife to lead the family God’s way.
    • How do we get this courage?
      • We listen and run to Christ – Mark 6:50, Romans 8:28.
      • We rely on our Savior alone.
  3. Diligence
    • Romans 12:8 – Without diligence, you cannot be a good leader.
    • Why is important for a leader to be diligent?
    • (a) Leadership without diligence will have no clear direction.
    • (b) Leadership without diligence reach the intended destination.
      • We must plan for work and work for plan but without diligence, we cannot get them done.
      • Without diligence, you won’t be able to do your plan
      • Proverbs 22:13, 26:13, 20:4 – The sluggard says, “There is a lion outside! I shall be killed in the streets!” The sluggard does not plow in the autumn; he will seek at harvest and have nothing.
      • The sluggard invents reasons not to do fulfill his duty.
    • (c) Leadership without diligence lacks the needed evaluation.
      • James 4:13-17 – We must be willing to change our plans and rules according to God’s providence .
      • What will happen if the leader of the family is not diligent?
        • It can lead to the destruction of the family. Proverbs 18:9
        • If a man doesn’t work hard as a leader, he will surely destroy his family unless the LORD intervenes.
        • Diligence is both a quality and a duty necessary for a godly leadership at home.
        • Let us cry to the LORD to make us grow and help us to be faithful.
  4. Humility
    • Matthew 16:24 – Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
    • Following Christ requires first and foremost a denial of oneself.
    • What kind of leader is Jesus?
      • He is a humble leader – Matthew 11:29-30
    • Why is it important to be a humble leader?
      • (a) Leadership without humility leads to insensitivity. You will become harsh against any simple mistake made by your family member.
      • (b) Leadership without humility makes you treat people without dignity. You’ll forget that everyone under you is made in Good’s image
      • (c) Leadership without humility will lead to inconsistency. You’ll only see the mistake of people around you and not your own.
      • (d) Leadership without humility will lead to instability. You’ll not openly acknowledge your bad decisions. The leadership is too proud so the family will suffer.
      • (e) Leadership without humility will create disunity. If you are wrong, you won’t seek reconciliation. Tension will reign in the family, not harmony and love. But if you know that there is a problem, you have the responsibility to make the first step.
      • Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
    • Humility is necessary for godly leadership in the family. Let us follow the example of our Savior.
    • Philippians 2:1-4 – So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
    • Let us remember our Savior and what kind of leadership He has shown.
  5. Wisdom
    • Solomon didn’t ask for anything but wisdom when God asked him.
    • 2 Chr. 1:9-10 – O Lord God, let your word to David my father be now fulfilled, for you have made me king over a people as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me now wisdom and knowledge to go out and come in before this people, for who can govern this people of yours, which is so great?”
    • Without wisdom, you won’t be able to make good plans and implement them. Without wisdom, you won’t be a good judge when disagreements happen. Without wisdom, you won’t be able to care for the hearts of the people God has given to your care.
    • The family shouldn’t only be about what we do but what is in the heart. We can only see the action, but not the motivation.
      • Proverbs 20:5 The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.
    • Without wisdom, you won’t earn the respect of those under your authority.
      • 1 Kings 3:28 And all Israel heard of the judgment that the king had rendered, and they stood in awe of the king, because they perceived that the wisdom of God was in him to do justice.
      • We need to be wise, like Solomon, we must seek it from God like a buried treasure. We must beg God (Pro. 2:1-10). God gives wisdom! We need to humble ourselves, come to God and ask Him wisdom that He alone can give.
  6. Love
    • Eph. 5:22-23, 25 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior… Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
    • The counterpart of submitting is not ruling but loving. Our leading must not be self-serving but self-giving if it is to be loving.
    • …and so train the young women to love their husbands and children… ” (Titus 2:4 ESV)
    • Love is very important as it is necessary.
    • …looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.  (Hebrews 12:2 ESV)

We need Jesus, His atoning sacrifice and perfect sacrifice if we are to be a kind of leader that God wants us to be. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  (1 Timothy 5:8 ESV)

To neglect husband’s duty is to deny the faith. Men must provide good leadership. Nothing compensates failure at home, so this must be taken seriously!

In Christ, there is grace of forgiveness for our failures. Let us keep working on this. Yes, this is a duty and we must do it seriously and consistently. But this duty is connected to our Savior. It is about Him! We do it because we love the One who lived perfectly, died sacrificially and rose again triumphantly for us.

To God be the glory!


Published by Jeff Chavez

Sinner saved by grace

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